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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Sports Again?

Yeah...but I feel the urge to binge and purge on the latest development that has arisen with what will be known as the "NFL's Biggest Bust"...JaMarcus Russel.

First off the idiot scored I think a 12 on the Wunderlik test...and folks...that ain't good. I mean that is the equivalent of that one weird kid in your elementary school class that licked the chalkboard and shit on the school bus.

But the big ass bastard could throw 70 yards from his knees. This of course got Al Davis ( the owner of the Oakland Raiders) drooling...anything done from the knees is good with him and this 270lb sack of shit was drafted #1.

He held out for a ton of cash and then didn't want to play. Didn't want to study game film...he was just there to get paid.

Took the stupid fuckers 3 seasons before they finally let him go. And of course now we find out he has an issue besides just plain old stupidity.

Apparently cough syrup with codeine makes for quite the tasty drink when ya mix it with Sprite and Jolly Ranchers. Hey Ed those are hard candies that are popular over here in the states...I call 'em "Gay Farmers".

Cocaine, Crack, Heroin, Marijuana, damn some Jim Beam!! Nope!! Gonna get fucked up off crap kids refuse to touch cause it tastes like dog shit.

Now I know what you are thinking..."how do you know what dog shit tastes like?" Well I was married twice before and I swear one of their attempts at cooking was so bad the flies in our back yard chipped in to get the screen door fixed. It might not have "literally" been dog shit...but I think it ran a close second.

And you have to have a prescription to get this shit! How does that work? Every two days, "Screw the liquor store...somebody give me a cold so I can cough alot!".

You would think that geting some vicadin and just drinking a 12 pack would suffice. But apparently this shit is BEYOND addictive...like fried chicken or dreams of Sandra Bullock naked.

Hey! You idiots at the NFL! If the boy can't figure out more than 3 problems on a test he is stupid! He ain't gonna do you no good and will most likely embarass you!! So don't draft him so he can get a good job making sure the napkins and the ketchup are always in the bag!!

Till next time...a look into the pissed off mind of YOUR friendly neighborhood comic.


1 comment:

  1. Next round of Nyquil Jello shots is on me! WOO-HOO!!!