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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Sports Headlines: Rant

I wanna go over a few of the things that of course is in the wide world of sports and all over the news and ESPN...but not the good ones...just the shit that is pissing me off.

World Cup

Ok folks...this was REALLY supposed to get America to love soccer in that we have a pretty good team and we got England right off the bat. Needless to say I watched it and we tied ( will get to that crap in a minute ) them. But after 15 minutes in I had to mute the damn TV due to those stupid fucking vuvuzela horns. What in the hell is wrong with those people? The damn things sound like a herd of West Nile mosquitoes and they blew the bastards for hours straight. Shelly asked me from the kitchen what in the hell was wrong with the TV and then asked if I had switched over to Animal Planet and was watching a documentary on bees. I of course informed her that apparently soccer fans are not only stupid but apparently tone deaf as well.

2nd...what in the hell is up with the timekeeping in this crap? All of the sudden 4 extra minutes get thrown onto the clock and NOBODY knows it untill some dumbass on the field that has a stopwatch and some form of Uno cards in his pocket tells them what the time should be. Folks...this is why Football in America will always rule over this mindless crap.

Finally...ties. This is just plain damn stupid. Give me a winner! We hate ties over here...they screw up the rating system...which is why most of us hate hockey and soccer...although hockey has started working on that shit with the shootout which is what soccer should do. I say if time runs out and the score is tied...no more kicking the damn ball. Flip a coin, winner gets the ball first, pick the damn thing up and play some rugby type shit and run over people and try to dive into the damn net. First team in wins. Simple and i bet would make people like it alot more.

College Football Conference Expansion

This was beyond fun for the past week. ESPN and other websites and me and my friends have been going nuts over a huge Pac-10 and the Big Ten and most likely the SEC getting up to 16 teams and trying to figure out where the leftovers would go from the Big 12 and the Big East ( which I said the MWC and the ACC would swallow up the teams nobody wanted )...but BLAM!! Texas gets a promise of money thrown at them and no more expansion. The damn "insiders" at ESPN really screwed the pooch on this crap. I am left so unsatisfied...kinda like getting some on the first date and then nothing for 6 dates after. As Granpa Joe said in Willie Wonka, "How can you build up a little boy's dreams and then smash them to pieces?" Now I am back to speculating exactly how much more soccer I can put up with before I stick a fish scaler through my temple.


Hey dumbasses! We knew he was awesome to begin with! I have only seen film on his college career for over a year. He was unhittable then...and the big boys can't hit him either. All of the sudden the analysts at ESPN act like they are giving Miss Cleo a run for her money by predicting this shit. Go back to Favre watch and figure that shit out cause we all knew about this.

Well folks that is about all I can muster up today without my head exploding like a zit on a 16 year old...so once again a look into the mind of YOUR friendly neighborhood comic.


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