Random Thoughts 7-12-10

Just got a buncha crap running around my head and don't really have a good title for this post so since most of my thoughts are quite random ( i.e "Baby you look so good today, that dress...hey a quarter! ) I figured that would do. Hmmm...maybe my thoughts aren't random...oh well my ADD is I guess.

One of the bits I do on stage deals with stupid people over the course of time. For some odd reason I always see the first thing to happen alot of times to involve two rednecks...so think in your best Jeff Foxworthy voice ( or mine for that matter ) when reading some of these.

The first lobster caught:

"Dang Bill! What in the hell is that?"
"I dunno...but you reckon we could eat it?"

I have always wondered about that one...my first impulse would have been to smash the fucker with an oar.

First settlers to see the Rockies:

"Dang Bill! What in the hell we gonna do now?"
"Well...looks like home sweet home to me right here"

That one also applied to a settler if he was too stupid to fix that broken wagon wheel. Have you ever been in the country and seen that wagon wheel in the front yard?? A-ha!!

I also got to thinking that the only good thing that stupid people can enjoy...well besides watching the bug zapper for entertainment...is a magic act.

"Dang Bill! Where in the hell did that rabbit come from?"
"I dunno but I'm calling the cops! He just cut that bitch in half!"

It's thoughts like these that keep me awake at night and bother Shelly. But that stream of consciousness will take you alot of places if you let it. I was asleep and dreaming about Mary Ann off of Gilligan's Island and Ginger hopped in and right before anything good happened my mind slipped over and looked at Gilligan and thought, "Ya know...after you screwed up the rescue for just the second time I would have killed your ass and then we would all be..." And then I woke up with that epiphany and woke Shelly up to relay this awesome piece of info that I had come up with a 3 am.

Lesson to other married people...unless you think they may want sex at 3 in the morning...don't wake them up. My brilliant thought on a show from the 1970's did not go over to well.

Untill next time...once again a look into the mind of YOUR friendly neighborhood comic.

Dave